Things Not To Do On A Safari

Laura and I, along with some other interns in our group, went on a safari last weekend to beautiful Murchison Falls, in the west of the country. The trip was amazing, and we saw

giraffes, hippos, elephants, lions, water buffalo, warthogs, baboons...just to name a few. We traveled with a very patient guide, Faruk. Oddly enough, our trip was most memorable because it was peppered with hilarious accidents and oddities. Which is why I assembled a checklist of things not to do on a safari.

(Rothschild Giraffes)

1. Do not go out on a safari without a rope. On our second day, we set out across the savanna on a game drive. Some considerate person had parked in the middle of the road, so Faruk tried to maneuver around it. We wound up sinking in a muddy ditch, and couldn't get out. We waited around until another truck came by, and had to make a rope out of seatbelts because no one seemed to have the real thing. We then were pulled out of the ditch by our trusty seatbelt rope, and wound up bending the grill on our safari van in the process.

2. Do not take a picture of an upset momma baboon. We were walking back to the safari lodge and encountered a couple of momma baboons getting into a fight on the road. One of them came over to our side of the road with her baby. We thought it would be a really good idea to take a picture of her. She then looked at us, set her baby down, and charged at us. We screamed and ran down the hill like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off. Almost having our faces ripped off by baboons = memorable, to say the least.

3. Do not spend the greater part of an hour chasing down a handicapped lion. Because you will feel incredibly guilty. On our first game drive, Faruk got wind that a lion was spotted somewhere off in the delta, near the Nile River. He asked if we wanted to speed to catch up to it, and we all excitedly said yes. After close to an hour of dashing across the savanna, we found our lion. Except that our lion has three legs. He had gotten one of them caught in a snare trap, and the rangers had to amputate it. Three convoys of tourists were circled around this poor guy, snapping pictures, and all he was doing was sitting there with his three legs looking at us as if to say, "Well, I'm obviously not going anywhere." Handicapped lion charities, anyone?

(His name is Stumpy)

Along with some other incidents - which included the cab roof almost killing us, backing into a tree, and having to kill a 3-inch sized monster cockroach with my suitcase - the safari was definitely a memorable experience! But poor Faruk: he said that in all his 15 years of doing safaris, this was the worst luck he's ever had. Hopefully he won't have another trip of muzungus with bad karma for another 15 years!